Homework Assignments
8 part series on what not to do as a coach – Part 2
~By Shawn Dwyer and Dr Michael Hall ~
In coaching, we do not tell.
The 2nd part to the series we learn there are homework assignments. You learned about assignments in Self Leadership when we say, “Give your client the list of Cognitive Distortions and ask them to familiarize with them.” After that, all you have to do is ask a discovery question, “What distortions did you catch yourself using in telling about that event?” Or, “Did I just hear you personalize?” This holds true for many things that you can task your client to do. Give them a handout on the specific meta-program which is over-driving a client. Give them a handout on a pattern that you’ve used with them and ask them to do it several more times.
Third, there is feedback.
Instead of telling, offer your feedback about how you are experiencing your client right now … in real time. “As you talk about X, my sense is that you really miss him and maybe you wish you could ask for forgiveness, I may not be getting that right, what do you think?” Offering your perspective as yours and make sure you offer it tentatively. This is one of the great gifts within the coaching relationship. Here you can “tell” that is, say what you feel like you need to say, without telling. You own it as yours.
