This situation has been changed to reduce the country and individuals associated, however you may identify the moral of the story by the end.
After the recent conflict attempt I experienced where someone I knew was involved, is whereby we attempted to someone to do “what’s right,” namely, pay her bills and accept responsibility, I reflected on the multiple ways that she sought to get “off the hook.” Now I understand why anyone would want to avoid responsibility and avoid making good on something— it costs!
First of all, it literally costs financially. A person may have to take out a loan, get a second job, borrow money from family, etc. And none of that is pleasant. It’s also unpleasant to have to admit to either having done wrong, or failed to do what’s right. And for some people—that is a near impossibility. So they seek to get “off the hook.”

It’s a common human tendency and we all were probably highly skilled at it as children! When I was a pre-puberty child, to get off the hook, I blamed my brother, I denied that I did anything, I advocated for mercy because I couldn’t help it, “things just happened,” my brother “made” me do it, I didn’t mean it, etc.

It wasn’t really me who did it.

The person was involved in money management. When she did that, she then thought that she was thereafter “off the hook.” “It wasn’t my company that did that; my company doesn’t exist anymore, so I owe nothing.” Now if that really worked, I could build up a debt, change my name or company name, and suddenly be debt-free —the whole world would be in a horrible mess.

I didn’t really sign on the dotted line.

Next the person said that she did not sign the agreement. Now when I heard that, I immediately thought, “Yes, that could be. I grant that. And yet if it is, that still does not let them off the line from being held accountable to the ethical standards.” Having been a recognised person” for some years, having interacted, operated etc., ethics is about how you live and how you treat others. We formalize that with a contract, but even if you did not sign—if you became a part of a community, we expect you to behave ethically and not to lie, steal, or cheat.

I am resigning so now you can’t hold me accountable.

This was yet another maneuver. After we started the process and asked her to show any evidence that she had paid, she wrote and said she was resigning. The implication was that we can’t continue the inquiry or the conflict resolution process. That’s like the criminal arrested and taken to the Police Station saying, “I resign as a member of this country, I’m going abroad.” Sorry, but things just don’t work that way.

You are the problem, being unfair, dictatorial, and unjust.

This is an example of attacking the messenger because he was the herald of bad news. We kept the conflict resolution between the person and three other people, but still “it is a one-man show” and you are “strong-arming me.” I was told that in initiating the process, I was being unprofessional and disrespectful! When the person offered email evidence and a voice recording, the problem was “there was no date on the voice recording” therefore it is invalid.

I was not really the sponsor, the company was.

After revoking permissions, then she announced that she did not receive any of the money, but that the company did. Of course, it was her company! Yes her former company. And while one company closed in 2020, and another one was started, that still didn’t enable her to get “off the hook.”

The Psychology Behind it All

It’s really incredible—all of the maneuvers to get off the hook and to not be held accountable! My impression is that a person must be incredibly insecure to be completely unwilling to even consider his or her role. In all of the attempts at the conflict resolution, there was never any true “conversations.” There was just rigid and dogmatic statements of denial. And when one party offered to compromise, and reduce the fee by thousands of dollars, there was still no willingness to even enter into that conversation.

What gives?

It’s as if the way the person is oriented to life, to reality, to responsibility is to cheat his or her way as much as possible. When things get tough—deny, blame, accuse, do anything to divert attention. And any attempt to appeal to how the other person feels or their situation was met with disdain. It was as if he could not take second perceptual position at all. Yet wherever there is a rigid and dogmatic, “I’m right and that’s it!” position, we obviously do not have a mature person who has been applying the foundations of NLP to oneself.

It’s characteristic of children to do everything they can to get “off the hook.” Conversely, the willingness to consider that I’m responsible for my choices and my actions, and step up to face the consequences—that’s an indication of personal growth and maturity. It’s what we all teach, train, and coach. And hopefully, it is what we all practice more and more as we continue to grow and develop.
Sometimes people simply try to get off the hook as they are not mature enough to take responsibility.

Do you know anyone like that?