First of all, we require licenses to do just about anything today. We require a license to operate a car or heavy machinery, a license to work on teeth, to counsel someone, to fix your plumbing, to touch your electricity, even to set up a business and cook pancakes!
Consequently for one of the most complex, complicated, and long-term tasks on planet earth, we do not require a license. Nowhere, in no country or city does any government require a License to Parent!
Consequently, we have a lot of poor parenting going on, inadequate parenting, even disastrous parenting that wounds and hurts children for decades. Yet we all too often assume that people “should just know” how to raise kids.
Sadly, they do not.
Also, the fact is that raising healthy children is not easy. Nor should we leave it to those who are not prepared to the challenge ahead.
All of this raises lots of Questions. Here are a few:
How are the challenges entailed in parenting?
What does a person need to know in order to parent adequately?
What skills does a person need to develop to be successful at it?
Overview of “Parenting 101″
Children: the object of our parenting. What are they? What’s going on with them and inside them? What do we need to understand about human development in order to appreciate what we do when we “parent.”
What is this activity that we call “parenting?” What’s involved in it? What are the prerequisites for being able to do this and do it with love and grace and to be effective?
EFFECTIVE PARENTING IT’S ALL ABOUT MEANING AND PERFORMANCE
Both parenting the children and being parented is about the meanings you bring to the experience and the meanings that the children experience.
Meaning is about understanding, comprehension, facts, perceptions, beliefs, etc. the better the meanings, the better our experience and our responses. You and I are meaning-makers. Meaning is whatever you “hold in mind” —that’s what the word means. As a meaning-maker, what you give meaning then defines and governs your experiences. It is or becomes your reality.
A person’s meanings can range from toxic, limiting, antiquated, trivial, conventional to enriching, empowering, passionate and so on.
Performance is about what we do, our actions, languaging, responding. The better we learn to response, the higher the quality of our lives. Your performance refers to all of the expressions at the behavioral level that you us to make actual your ideas, meanings, concepts, beliefs, intentions, etc.
Effective Parenting— taking care of, nourishing, loving, playing, etc. with the child meeting his or her basic human needs.
WHAT ARE THESE LITTLE PEOPLE CALLED CHILDREN?
They are not little adults!
So what are you dealing with? We are not dealing with miniature versions of “adults.” That is, they do not think like we do, emote as we do, they are not able to make decisions or choices as we do, they do not have a sense of power or self-confidence as we do, they lack the ego-strength to face life and figure things out, they do not know who they are or how they function or what they are about!
Furthermore, we are dealing with undeveloped humans. All of the things that we have developed over the years of our life — they do not have. The fact is that their consciousness and experience is so very different from our own. And through our own development, we do not even have access to the process that we came through.
As a result, that’s why we need to learn and know some basic human development facts and principles. We have to begin by learning to understand the stages of development that a child goes through in becoming a well-adjusted adult. We have to learn about how the maturing and becoming the best version of oneself works and what we need to deo them, becoming do to facilitate them eventually becoming a responsible and effective person.
By understanding and by adjusting your understanding, you will be adjusting your expectations so that they are relevant and realistic.
The Skills You Need to Parent effectively
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