{"id":9028,"date":"2018-06-24T05:05:00","date_gmt":"2018-06-24T05:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/?p=9028"},"modified":"2018-06-24T05:05:00","modified_gmt":"2018-06-24T05:05:00","slug":"takers-and-givers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/takers-and-givers\/","title":{"rendered":"TAKERS AND GIVERS"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/growth-mindset.png\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/growth-mindset.png\" alt=\"givers and takers\" width=\"666\" height=\"417\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7510\" \/><\/a><br \/>\n~ Article written by L. Michael Hall PhD ~<br \/>\nI am not going to say, \u201cThere are two kinds of people &#8230;\u201d and then set up a polarization. But I will re-iterate a basic principle in <a href=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/self-actualization-mean\/\">Self-Actualization<\/a> Psychology and say this, \u201c<em>There are two levels of experience regarding human needs. There is the dimension of the lower or deficiency needs and there is the dimension of the higher or abundance needs.<\/em>\u201d Those who live their lives predominantly at the D-needs feel deficient of the key requirements or ingredients and so strive to get what they need whether it is food, water, shelter, money, sex, safety, stability, control, love, affection, connection, bonding, recognition, dignity, etc. They feel needy, they are needy, and so they reach out to fulfill their needs.<\/p>\n<h2>D-Needs<\/h2>\n<p>Those who have learned how to generally and basically gratify their D-needs by learning how to cope with them, or better yet, to master those life-requirements (\u201cneeds\u201d) will tend to live their lives at the higher dimension of needs. They will live seeking the uniquely human needs which Maslow called the B-needs (B for being). These are the needs for knowledge, meaning, justice, equality, beauty, music, order, contribution, wisdom, humor, making a difference, excellence, etc. these are the \u201cneeds\u201d that when you gratify them, they do not go away but on the contrary, grow and expand.<\/p>\n<h2><a href=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/product\/self-actualizing-life\/\">B<\/a>-Needs Start<\/h2>\n<p>Unlike the D-needs, which when you gratify them go away, the higher abundance and self-actualization needs keep expanding. I commonly say that they reflect \u201cthe more\u2014the more\u201d pattern in contrast to \u201cthe more\u2014the less\u201d pattern of the lower needs. In these needs, a person experiences more and more and more\u2014hence, <em>abundance<\/em>. Having so much more knowledge, meaning, beauty, music, love, order, humor, etc., these people have so much more to give. That makes them givers. By contrast, the D-people are takers. They need, they lack, they feel deficient, so they take, they get.<\/p>\n<h2>Here then is a way to think about the dimension of experience in which you live.<\/h2>\n<p>As long as you do not have accurate mental maps for understanding the human condition of the requirements (needs) for living and thriving and having the developed skills for coping with those requirements, you live in the deficiency dimension. As long as these lower needs do not go away, you need. So you passively wait for others to give to you.<br \/>\nWhen you figure out how to basically gratify those needs, your ability to cope effectively with them means that you are now \u201cgetting by\u201d and when that happens, then something else wonderful happens. New needs emerge. The next level of needs emerge in your awareness and so you move up the hierarchical nature of the human needs. This continues until you move through the survival, safety, social, and self needs\u2014the \u201canimal\u201d needs because even the higher intelligent social animals needs these things.<\/p>\n<h2>Becoming A Giver<\/h2>\n<p>Now you are able to begin to live in the dimension of abundance, of being, of non-instrumental living. Because this is the arena of self-actualization, it is here that you begin actualizing your highest values, meanings, beliefs and make them real in terms of best performances. Now you are on the human becoming adventure. Now you are beginning to live in the B-dimension where you have Being-cognition, Being-values, Being-relationships, etc. Now you become a giver.<br \/>\nLiving in the self-actualizing dimension and as a giver\u2014you will find a new urge within, a new restlessness\u2014now you need to give, to contribute. This step in development will also change you, it will change you from a taker to a giver. Now you will be thinking about others, about making a difference, about contributing. Now this will become a pleasure and delight. Other changes will be occurring as well. As you are transcending your \u201canimal\u201d self and your \u201canimal\u201d needs more and more, you will be living at this higher level of motivation. That is, your motivation will not be coming and going, on and off, as it was when you lived exclusively or mainly at the lower levels. Now your motivation as your inspiration for living will be constant and constantly increasing. Now you have a renewing spring of inspiration every day.<\/p>\n<h2>Out OF The Jungle<\/h2>\n<p>Moving up from \u201cthe jungle\u201d of the lower-needs, as Maslow came to call that level, you also become much more human. That means you move from the competitiveness of the lower-needs to the collaboration of the higher needs. This is another change that begins to take place, you increasingly become a person who values connecting and collaborating out of the vision of what you can do together.<\/p>\n<h2>Leadership<\/h2>\n<p>What does all of this have to do with the The Coaching Centre Leadership Diploma? I bet you can guess what it has to do with our Leadership Diploma. It has everything to do with them. After all, it takes self-actualizing people to envision them, to plan for them, and to actualize them. Those who think mostly or only about themselves, what they want, what they will get from it, etc. will not be the people who can make them happen. It will be the people who are moving increasingly into the B-dimension who will care about the community, about giving back, and about leaving a legacy.<br \/>\nDoes that mean we don\u2019t want D-people to come to the Leadership Diploma? Of course not. We need them there. But they will not be the key people who will be influencing and leading the field of Leadership. They will not\u2014not until they move to the B-dimension and begin to live more of a self-actualizing life. It is and always will be the people who are givers, who live predominately at the being-level who will be the ones providing the leadership and the vision that makes the Leadership Diploma possible and who will be the ones actually doing the execution of them.<\/p>\n<h2>Opportunity<\/h2>\n<p>In view of that, I hope that you will become one of those living in \u201cthe more, the more\u201d pattern of <a href=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/what-ever-happened-to-abundance\/\">abundance<\/a>, collaboration, and giving back to the community. That\u2019s true leadership.<br \/>\n <script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\nvar gform;gform||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.scriptsLoaded=!0}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){gform.domLoaded=!0}),gform={domLoaded:!1,scriptsLoaded:!1,themeScriptsLoaded:!1,isFormEditor:()=>\"function\"==typeof InitializeEditor,callIfLoaded:function(o){return!(!gform.domLoaded||!gform.scriptsLoaded||!gform.themeScriptsLoaded&&!gform.isFormEditor()||(gform.isFormEditor()&&console.warn(\"The use of gform.initializeOnLoaded() is deprecated in the form editor context and will be removed in Gravity Forms 3.1.\"),o(),0))},initializeOnLoaded:function(o){gform.callIfLoaded(o)||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.scriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",()=>{gform.domLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}))},hooks:{action:{},filter:{}},addAction:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"action\",o,r,e,t)},addFilter:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"filter\",o,r,e,t)},doAction:function(o){gform.doHook(\"action\",o,arguments)},applyFilters:function(o){return gform.doHook(\"filter\",o,arguments)},removeAction:function(o,r){gform.removeHook(\"action\",o,r)},removeFilter:function(o,r,e){gform.removeHook(\"filter\",o,r,e)},addHook:function(o,r,e,t,n){null==gform.hooks[o][r]&&(gform.hooks[o][r]=[]);var d=gform.hooks[o][r];null==n&&(n=r+\"_\"+d.length),gform.hooks[o][r].push({tag:n,callable:e,priority:t=null==t?10:t})},doHook:function(r,o,e){var t;if(e=Array.prototype.slice.call(e,1),null!=gform.hooks[r][o]&&((o=gform.hooks[r][o]).sort(function(o,r){return o.priority-r.priority}),o.forEach(function(o){\"function\"!=typeof(t=o.callable)&&(t=window[t]),\"action\"==r?t.apply(null,e):e[0]=t.apply(null,e)})),\"filter\"==r)return e[0]},removeHook:function(o,r,t,n){var e;null!=gform.hooks[o][r]&&(e=(e=gform.hooks[o][r]).filter(function(o,r,e){return!!(null!=n&&n!=o.tag||null!=t&&t!=o.priority)}),gform.hooks[o][r]=e)}});\n\/* ]]> *\/\n<\/script>\n\n                <div class='gf_browser_gecko gform_wrapper gform_legacy_markup_wrapper gform-theme--no-framework' data-form-theme='legacy' data-form-index='0' id='gform_wrapper_3' ><div id='gf_3' class='gform_anchor' tabindex='-1'><\/div><form method='post' enctype='multipart\/form-data' target='gform_ajax_frame_3' id='gform_3'  action='\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9028#gf_3' data-formid='3' novalidate>\n                        <div class='gform-body gform_body'><ul id='gform_fields_3' class='gform_fields top_label form_sublabel_below description_below validation_below'><li id=\"field_3_9\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-honeypot gform_validation_container field_sublabel_below gfield--has-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_3_9'>Name<\/label><div class='ginput_container'><input name='input_9' id='input_3_9' type='text' value='' autocomplete='new-password'\/><\/div><div class='gfield_description' id='gfield_description_3_9'>This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.<\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_3_6\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-html gfield_html gfield_html_formatted gfield_no_follows_desc field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><h2>FREE GUIDE: The Brand New Way To Gain Self Confidence And Never Lose It<\/h2><\/li><li id=\"field_3_1\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-name gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label gfield_label_before_complex' >Name<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/label><div class='ginput_complex ginput_container ginput_container--name no_prefix has_first_name no_middle_name has_last_name no_suffix gf_name_has_2 ginput_container_name gform-grid-row' id='input_3_1'>\n                            \n                            <span id='input_3_1_3_container' class='name_first gform-grid-col gform-grid-col--size-auto' >\n                                                    <input type='text' name='input_1.3' id='input_3_1_3' value=''   aria-required='true'     \/>\n                                                    <label for='input_3_1_3' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-sub '>First<\/label>\n                                                <\/span>\n                            \n                            <span id='input_3_1_6_container' class='name_last gform-grid-col gform-grid-col--size-auto' >\n                                                    <input type='text' name='input_1.6' id='input_3_1_6' value=''   aria-required='true'     \/>\n                                                    <label for='input_3_1_6' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-sub '>Last<\/label>\n                                                <\/span>\n                            \n                        <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_3_2\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-email gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_3_2'>Email<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_email'>\n                            <input name='input_2' id='input_3_2' type='email' value='' class='medium'    aria-required=\"true\" aria-invalid=\"false\"  \/>\n                        <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_3_4\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-phone gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_3_4'>Phone<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_phone'><input name='input_4' id='input_3_4' type='tel' value='' class='medium'   aria-required=\"true\" aria-invalid=\"false\"   \/><\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_3_7\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-website field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_hidden\"  ><div class=\"admin-hidden-markup\"><i class=\"gform-icon gform-icon--hidden\" aria-hidden=\"true\" title=\"This field is hidden when viewing the form\"><\/i><span>This field is hidden when viewing the form<\/span><\/div><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_3_7'>Website<\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_website'>\n                    <input name='input_7' id='input_3_7' type='url' value='https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/personal-coaching\/' class='medium'    placeholder='https:\/\/'  aria-invalid=\"false\" \/>\n                <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_3_8\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-captcha gfield--width-full field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_3_8'>CAPTCHA<\/label><div id='input_3_8' class='ginput_container ginput_recaptcha' data-sitekey='6LdVeOwUAAAAAFjy2EoeuwBN-eIeO05m22YITDHs'  data-theme='light' data-tabindex='0'  data-badge=''><\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n        <div class='gform-footer gform_footer top_label'> <input type='submit' id='gform_submit_button_3' class='gform_button button' onclick='gform.submission.handleButtonClick(this);' data-submission-type='submit' value='Download'  \/> <input type='hidden' name='gform_ajax' value='form_id=3&amp;title=&amp;description=&amp;tabindex=0&amp;theme=legacy&amp;styles=[]&amp;hash=3080076805433314c587da1481a77c2c' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submission_method' data-js='gform_submission_method_3' value='iframe' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_theme' data-js='gform_theme_3' id='gform_theme_3' value='legacy' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_style_settings' data-js='gform_style_settings_3' id='gform_style_settings_3' value='[]' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='is_submit_3' value='1' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submit' value='3' \/>\n            \n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_currency' data-currency='AUD' value='tpfFNrUP3yVTFCHKx7R3NTz4s\/zv\/A3077tAHam24J9NTFEYClYQNpVms9NBtnGePBgdHdsqapfQuF6yaEHqO6HyjJyJDBWEZYeO+kwEgJISxK4=' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_unique_id' value='' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='state_3' value='WyJbXSIsIjZlOGJjNzVlN2QzYjNiOWI0OTIzZWI4NWI1ZDY4ZmM1Il0=' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' autocomplete='off' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_target_page_number_3' id='gform_target_page_number_3' value='0' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' autocomplete='off' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_source_page_number_3' id='gform_source_page_number_3' value='1' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' name='gform_field_values' value='' \/>\n            \n        <\/div>\n                        <p style=\"display: none !important;\" class=\"akismet-fields-container\" data-prefix=\"ak_\"><label>&#916;<textarea name=\"ak_hp_textarea\" cols=\"45\" rows=\"8\" maxlength=\"100\"><\/textarea><\/label><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"ak_js_1\" name=\"ak_js\" value=\"91\"\/><script>document.getElementById( \"ak_js_1\" ).setAttribute( \"value\", ( new Date() ).getTime() );<\/script><\/p><\/form>\n                        <\/div>\n\t\t                <iframe style='display:none;width:0px;height:0px;' src='about:blank' name='gform_ajax_frame_3' id='gform_ajax_frame_3' title='This iframe contains the logic required to handle Ajax powered Gravity Forms.'><\/iframe>\n\t\t                <script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\n gform.initializeOnLoaded( function() {gformInitSpinner( 3, 'https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images\/spinner.svg', true );jQuery('#gform_ajax_frame_3').on('load',function(){var contents = jQuery(this).contents().find('*').html();var is_postback = contents.indexOf('GF_AJAX_POSTBACK') >= 0;if(!is_postback){return;}var form_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_wrapper_3');var is_confirmation = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_confirmation_wrapper_3').length > 0;var is_redirect = contents.indexOf('gformRedirect(){') >= 0;var is_form = form_content.length > 0 && ! is_redirect && ! is_confirmation;var mt = parseInt(jQuery('html').css('margin-top'), 10) + parseInt(jQuery('body').css('margin-top'), 10) + 100;if(is_form){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_3').html(form_content.html());if(form_content.hasClass('gform_validation_error')){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_3').addClass('gform_validation_error');} else {jQuery('#gform_wrapper_3').removeClass('gform_validation_error');}setTimeout( function() { \/* delay the scroll by 50 milliseconds to fix a bug in chrome *\/ jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gform_wrapper_3').offset().top - mt); }, 50 );if(window['gformInitDatepicker']) {gformInitDatepicker();}if(window['gformInitPriceFields']) {gformInitPriceFields();}var current_page = jQuery('#gform_source_page_number_3').val();gformInitSpinner( 3, 'https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images\/spinner.svg', true );jQuery(document).trigger('gform_page_loaded', [3, current_page]);window['gf_submitting_3'] = false;}else if(!is_redirect){var confirmation_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('.GF_AJAX_POSTBACK').html();if(!confirmation_content){confirmation_content = contents;}jQuery('#gform_wrapper_3').replaceWith(confirmation_content);jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gf_3').offset().top - mt);jQuery(document).trigger('gform_confirmation_loaded', [3]);window['gf_submitting_3'] = false;wp.a11y.speak(jQuery('#gform_confirmation_message_3').text());}else{jQuery('#gform_3').append(contents);if(window['gformRedirect']) {gformRedirect();}}jQuery(document).trigger(\"gform_pre_post_render\", [{ formId: \"3\", currentPage: \"current_page\", abort: function() { this.preventDefault(); } }]);        if (event && event.defaultPrevented) {                return;        }        const gformWrapperDiv = document.getElementById( \"gform_wrapper_3\" );        if ( gformWrapperDiv ) {            const visibilitySpan = document.createElement( \"span\" );            visibilitySpan.id = \"gform_visibility_test_3\";            gformWrapperDiv.insertAdjacentElement( \"afterend\", visibilitySpan );        }        const visibilityTestDiv = document.getElementById( \"gform_visibility_test_3\" );        let postRenderFired = false;        function triggerPostRender() {            if ( postRenderFired ) {                return;            }            postRenderFired = true;            gform.core.triggerPostRenderEvents( 3, current_page );            if ( visibilityTestDiv ) {                visibilityTestDiv.parentNode.removeChild( visibilityTestDiv );            }        }        function debounce( func, wait, immediate ) {            var timeout;            return function() {                var context = this, args = arguments;                var later = function() {                    timeout = null;                    if ( !immediate ) func.apply( context, args );                };                var callNow = immediate && !timeout;                clearTimeout( timeout );                timeout = setTimeout( later, wait );                if ( callNow ) func.apply( context, args );            };        }        const debouncedTriggerPostRender = debounce( function() {            triggerPostRender();        }, 200 );        if ( visibilityTestDiv && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent === null ) {            const observer = new MutationObserver( ( mutations ) => {                mutations.forEach( ( mutation ) => {                    if ( mutation.type === 'attributes' && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent !== null ) {                        debouncedTriggerPostRender();                        observer.disconnect();                    }                });            });            observer.observe( document.body, {                attributes: true,                childList: false,                subtree: true,                attributeFilter: [ 'style', 'class' ],            });        } else {            triggerPostRender();        }    } );} ); \n\/* ]]> *\/\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>~ Article written by L. Michael Hall PhD ~ I am not going to say, \u201cThere are two kinds of people &#8230;\u201d and then set up a polarization. But I will re-iterate a basic principle in Self-Actualization Psychology and say this, \u201cThere are two levels [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":7510,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"There are two levels of experience regarding human needs, takers and givers. There is the lower or deficiency needs and higher or abundance needs. b needs","_seopress_robots_index":"","pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[82],"tags":[207,208,209],"class_list":["post-9028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-actualisation","tag-being-needs","tag-deficiency-needs","tag-takers-and-givers","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9028"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9028\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}