{"id":44614,"date":"2023-01-01T10:22:19","date_gmt":"2022-12-31T23:22:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/?p=44614"},"modified":"2023-01-01T10:24:04","modified_gmt":"2022-12-31T23:24:04","slug":"telling-do-you-know-how-to-not-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/telling-do-you-know-how-to-not-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"Telling &#8211; Do You Know How To Not Tell?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1>Telling ~ Do You Know How To Not Tell?<\/h1>\n<h4>8 part series on what not to do as a coach &#8211; Part 1<\/h4>\n<p>~By Shawn Dwyer and Dr Michael Hall ~<\/p>\n<h2>In coaching<a href=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/what-is-a-life-coach\/\">,<\/a> we do not tell.<\/h2>\n<p>Telling is not coaching, we simply do not tell our clients what to think, feel, say, or do. We do not give advice and we do not intrude into their life assuming that we know what is best for them. Rather than telling, we use the coaching methodology to facilitate our clients discovering their own values and visions in life so that they can make their own choices and become fully self-determining. Our aim is to coach ourselves out of business!<\/p>\n<h2>But sometimes you have to tell<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\">.<\/a><\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes a client just does not know what he needs to know in order to make a decision or even carry on a conversation.Sometimes she is just mis-informed or deceived or just wrong. Then what? As a Meta-Coach you are not to tell, and \u201ctelling\u201d is a level 1 skill, so it really takes away from effective coaching. Given that, now what?<\/p>\n<p>Actually there\u2019s lots of solutions to this. Firstly we recommend that you introduce and offer a menu list. In that way, you don\u2019t have to tell. Instead, you are presenting a list of possibilities (a menu list should have at least three and ideally five to seven items). Typically a menu list \u201cprimes the pump\u201d of creativity and mindfulness so that your client is off and running with her own solutions which is the whole purpose of menu lists.<\/p>\n<p>Learn more and receive<br \/>\n<script>\nvar gform;gform||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.scriptsLoaded=!0}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){gform.domLoaded=!0}),gform={domLoaded:!1,scriptsLoaded:!1,themeScriptsLoaded:!1,isFormEditor:()=>\"function\"==typeof InitializeEditor,callIfLoaded:function(o){return!(!gform.domLoaded||!gform.scriptsLoaded||!gform.themeScriptsLoaded&&!gform.isFormEditor()||(gform.isFormEditor()&&console.warn(\"The use of gform.initializeOnLoaded() is deprecated in the form editor context and will be removed in Gravity Forms 3.1.\"),o(),0))},initializeOnLoaded:function(o){gform.callIfLoaded(o)||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.scriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",()=>{gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",()=>{gform.domLoaded=!0,gform.callIfLoaded(o)}))},hooks:{action:{},filter:{}},addAction:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"action\",o,r,e,t)},addFilter:function(o,r,e,t){gform.addHook(\"filter\",o,r,e,t)},doAction:function(o){gform.doHook(\"action\",o,arguments)},applyFilters:function(o){return gform.doHook(\"filter\",o,arguments)},removeAction:function(o,r){gform.removeHook(\"action\",o,r)},removeFilter:function(o,r,e){gform.removeHook(\"filter\",o,r,e)},addHook:function(o,r,e,t,n){null==gform.hooks[o][r]&&(gform.hooks[o][r]=[]);var d=gform.hooks[o][r];null==n&&(n=r+\"_\"+d.length),gform.hooks[o][r].push({tag:n,callable:e,priority:t=null==t?10:t})},doHook:function(r,o,e){var t;if(e=Array.prototype.slice.call(e,1),null!=gform.hooks[r][o]&&((o=gform.hooks[r][o]).sort(function(o,r){return o.priority-r.priority}),o.forEach(function(o){\"function\"!=typeof(t=o.callable)&&(t=window[t]),\"action\"==r?t.apply(null,e):e[0]=t.apply(null,e)})),\"filter\"==r)return e[0]},removeHook:function(o,r,t,n){var e;null!=gform.hooks[o][r]&&(e=(e=gform.hooks[o][r]).filter(function(o,r,e){return!!(null!=n&&n!=o.tag||null!=t&&t!=o.priority)}),gform.hooks[o][r]=e)}});\n<\/script>\n\n                <div class='gf_browser_gecko gform_wrapper gform_legacy_markup_wrapper gform-theme--no-framework' data-form-theme='legacy' data-form-index='0' id='gform_wrapper_23' ><div id='gf_23' class='gform_anchor' tabindex='-1'><\/div><form method='post' enctype='multipart\/form-data' target='gform_ajax_frame_23' id='gform_23'  action='\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44614#gf_23' data-formid='23' novalidate>\n                        <div class='gform-body gform_body'><ul id='gform_fields_23' class='gform_fields top_label form_sublabel_below description_below validation_below'><li id=\"field_23_6\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-html gfield_html gfield_html_formatted gfield_no_follows_desc field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><h2>DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE GUIDE: Being your best self,\nbeing real and unleashing your highest potentials<\/h2><\/li><li id=\"field_23_8\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-name field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label gfield_label_before_complex' >Name<\/label><div class='ginput_complex ginput_container ginput_container--name no_prefix has_first_name no_middle_name has_last_name no_suffix gf_name_has_2 ginput_container_name gform-grid-row' id='input_23_8'>\n                            \n                            <span id='input_23_8_3_container' class='name_first gform-grid-col gform-grid-col--size-auto' >\n                                                    <input type='text' name='input_8.3' id='input_23_8_3' value=''   aria-required='false'     \/>\n                                                    <label for='input_23_8_3' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-sub '>First<\/label>\n                                                <\/span>\n                            \n                            <span id='input_23_8_6_container' class='name_last gform-grid-col gform-grid-col--size-auto' >\n                                                    <input type='text' name='input_8.6' id='input_23_8_6' value=''   aria-required='false'     \/>\n                                                    <label for='input_23_8_6' class='gform-field-label gform-field-label--type-sub '>Last<\/label>\n                                                <\/span>\n                            \n                        <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_23_2\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-email gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_23_2'>Email<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_email'>\n                            <input name='input_2' id='input_23_2' type='email' value='' class='medium'    aria-required=\"true\" aria-invalid=\"false\"  \/>\n                        <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_23_4\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-phone gfield_contains_required field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_23_4'>Phone<span class=\"gfield_required\"><span class=\"gfield_required gfield_required_asterisk\">*<\/span><\/span><\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_phone'><input name='input_4' id='input_23_4' type='tel' value='' class='medium'   aria-required=\"true\" aria-invalid=\"false\"   \/><\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_23_7\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-website field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_hidden\"  ><div class=\"admin-hidden-markup\"><i class=\"gform-icon gform-icon--hidden\" aria-hidden=\"true\" title=\"This field is hidden when viewing the form\"><\/i><span>This field is hidden when viewing the form<\/span><\/div><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_23_7'>Website<\/label><div class='ginput_container ginput_container_website'>\n                    <input name='input_7' id='input_23_7' type='url' value='http:\/\/unleashingvitality.com' class='medium'    placeholder='http:\/\/'  aria-invalid=\"false\" \/>\n                <\/div><\/li><li id=\"field_23_3\" class=\"gfield gfield--type-captcha field_sublabel_below gfield--no-description field_description_below field_validation_below gfield_visibility_visible\"  ><label class='gfield_label gform-field-label' for='input_23_3'>CAPTCHA<\/label><div id='input_23_3' class='ginput_container ginput_recaptcha' data-sitekey='6LdVeOwUAAAAAFjy2EoeuwBN-eIeO05m22YITDHs'  data-theme='light' data-tabindex='0'  data-badge=''><\/div><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n        <div class='gform-footer gform_footer top_label'> <input type='submit' id='gform_submit_button_23' class='gform_button button' onclick='gform.submission.handleButtonClick(this);' data-submission-type='submit' value='Download'  \/> <input type='hidden' name='gform_ajax' value='form_id=23&amp;title=&amp;description=&amp;tabindex=0&amp;theme=legacy&amp;styles=[]&amp;hash=af4b82f39d071b3f12c3d605e1c1b3fe' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submission_method' data-js='gform_submission_method_23' value='iframe' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_theme' data-js='gform_theme_23' id='gform_theme_23' value='legacy' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_style_settings' data-js='gform_style_settings_23' id='gform_style_settings_23' value='[]' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='is_submit_23' value='1' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_submit' value='23' \/>\n            \n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_currency' data-currency='AUD' value='JHUKQhQUFu0CMmeEgFsSAk8G8ean16GOzFYNdK8m\/yU4eFzpLpmctn1rAHMKM0OKWTAk2EAzP5cSV8Ojp3R4Rt1npkVx4xaQQdOX173BFJuPtOc=' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_unique_id' value='' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' class='gform_hidden' name='state_23' value='WyJbXSIsIjZlOGJjNzVlN2QzYjNiOWI0OTIzZWI4NWI1ZDY4ZmM1Il0=' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' autocomplete='off' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_target_page_number_23' id='gform_target_page_number_23' value='0' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' autocomplete='off' class='gform_hidden' name='gform_source_page_number_23' id='gform_source_page_number_23' value='1' \/>\n            <input type='hidden' name='gform_field_values' value='' \/>\n            \n        <\/div>\n                        <p style=\"display: none !important;\" class=\"akismet-fields-container\" data-prefix=\"ak_\"><label>&#916;<textarea name=\"ak_hp_textarea\" cols=\"45\" rows=\"8\" maxlength=\"100\"><\/textarea><\/label><input type=\"hidden\" id=\"ak_js_1\" name=\"ak_js\" value=\"214\"\/><script>\ndocument.getElementById( \"ak_js_1\" ).setAttribute( \"value\", ( new Date() ).getTime() );\n<\/script>\n<\/p><\/form>\n                        <\/div>\n\t\t                <iframe style='display:none;width:0px;height:0px;' src='about:blank' name='gform_ajax_frame_23' id='gform_ajax_frame_23' title='This iframe contains the logic required to handle Ajax powered Gravity Forms.'><\/iframe>\n\t\t                <script>\ngform.initializeOnLoaded( function() {gformInitSpinner( 23, 'https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images\/spinner.svg', true );jQuery('#gform_ajax_frame_23').on('load',function(){var contents = jQuery(this).contents().find('*').html();var is_postback = contents.indexOf('GF_AJAX_POSTBACK') >= 0;if(!is_postback){return;}var form_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_wrapper_23');var is_confirmation = jQuery(this).contents().find('#gform_confirmation_wrapper_23').length > 0;var is_redirect = contents.indexOf('gformRedirect(){') >= 0;var is_form = form_content.length > 0 && ! is_redirect && ! is_confirmation;var mt = parseInt(jQuery('html').css('margin-top'), 10) + parseInt(jQuery('body').css('margin-top'), 10) + 100;if(is_form){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_23').html(form_content.html());if(form_content.hasClass('gform_validation_error')){jQuery('#gform_wrapper_23').addClass('gform_validation_error');} else {jQuery('#gform_wrapper_23').removeClass('gform_validation_error');}setTimeout( function() { \/* delay the scroll by 50 milliseconds to fix a bug in chrome *\/ jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gform_wrapper_23').offset().top - mt); }, 50 );if(window['gformInitDatepicker']) {gformInitDatepicker();}if(window['gformInitPriceFields']) {gformInitPriceFields();}var current_page = jQuery('#gform_source_page_number_23').val();gformInitSpinner( 23, 'https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/plugins\/gravityforms\/images\/spinner.svg', true );jQuery(document).trigger('gform_page_loaded', [23, current_page]);window['gf_submitting_23'] = false;}else if(!is_redirect){var confirmation_content = jQuery(this).contents().find('.GF_AJAX_POSTBACK').html();if(!confirmation_content){confirmation_content = contents;}jQuery('#gform_wrapper_23').replaceWith(confirmation_content);jQuery(document).scrollTop(jQuery('#gf_23').offset().top - mt);jQuery(document).trigger('gform_confirmation_loaded', [23]);window['gf_submitting_23'] = false;wp.a11y.speak(jQuery('#gform_confirmation_message_23').text());}else{jQuery('#gform_23').append(contents);if(window['gformRedirect']) {gformRedirect();}}jQuery(document).trigger(\"gform_pre_post_render\", [{ formId: \"23\", currentPage: \"current_page\", abort: function() { this.preventDefault(); } }]);        if (event && event.defaultPrevented) {                return;        }        const gformWrapperDiv = document.getElementById( \"gform_wrapper_23\" );        if ( gformWrapperDiv ) {            const visibilitySpan = document.createElement( \"span\" );            visibilitySpan.id = \"gform_visibility_test_23\";            gformWrapperDiv.insertAdjacentElement( \"afterend\", visibilitySpan );        }        const visibilityTestDiv = document.getElementById( \"gform_visibility_test_23\" );        let postRenderFired = false;        function triggerPostRender() {            if ( postRenderFired ) {                return;            }            postRenderFired = true;            gform.core.triggerPostRenderEvents( 23, current_page );            if ( visibilityTestDiv ) {                visibilityTestDiv.parentNode.removeChild( visibilityTestDiv );            }        }        function debounce( func, wait, immediate ) {            var timeout;            return function() {                var context = this, args = arguments;                var later = function() {                    timeout = null;                    if ( !immediate ) func.apply( context, args );                };                var callNow = immediate && !timeout;                clearTimeout( timeout );                timeout = setTimeout( later, wait );                if ( callNow ) func.apply( context, args );            };        }        const debouncedTriggerPostRender = debounce( function() {            triggerPostRender();        }, 200 );        if ( visibilityTestDiv && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent === null ) {            const observer = new MutationObserver( ( mutations ) => {                mutations.forEach( ( mutation ) => {                    if ( mutation.type === 'attributes' && visibilityTestDiv.offsetParent !== null ) {                        debouncedTriggerPostRender();                        observer.disconnect();                    }                });            });            observer.observe( document.body, {                attributes: true,                childList: false,                subtree: true,                attributeFilter: [ 'style', 'class' ],            });        } else {            triggerPostRender();        }    } );} );\n<\/script>\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Telling ~ Do You Know How To Not Tell? 8 part series on what not to do as a coach &#8211; Part 1 ~By Shawn Dwyer and Dr Michael Hall ~ In coaching, we do not tell. Telling is not coaching, we simply do not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":44615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"119","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"Telling ~ Rather than telling, use the coaching methodology to facilitate our clients discovering their own values to...","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"Telling","pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[468,119],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-44614","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","category-relationship","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44614","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=44614"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44614\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/44615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=44614"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=44614"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=44614"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}