{"id":10469,"date":"2019-10-05T21:19:43","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T11:19:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/?p=10469"},"modified":"2020-03-29T09:27:58","modified_gmt":"2020-03-28T22:27:58","slug":"communication-myths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/communication-myths\/","title":{"rendered":"Communication Myths"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/thecoachingcentre.com.au\/the-shop\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/08\/slide3-1024x512.png\" alt=\"communication myths\" class=\"wp-image-1116\"\/><figcaption>communication myths<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n<p>~\u00a0<em>Article by Dr.L.Michael Hall<\/em>\u00a0and Mr\u00a0<em>Shawn Dwyer\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0~ <\/p>\n\n\n<p>Given that NLP is a Communication Model and\nNeuro-Semantics is an Integrated Communication Model- communication is our\nbusiness.&nbsp; That is also why we often,\ninstead of giving a &#8220;NLP Practitioner&#8221; certificate, we give a\nProfessional Communicator Certificate.&nbsp;\nAfter all, that&#8217;s what neuro-linguistics and neuro-semantics is all\nabout- how we communicate meanings and understandings to ourselves and to\nothers.&nbsp; And in this, there are numerous\ncommunication myths that we have to expose as we train people in advanced\ncommunication competencies.<\/p>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Myth #1: Communication is talking.<\/h2>\n\n\n<p>People who are deceived by this myth falsely think that\nby doing more and more talking, they are communicating more.&nbsp; Others may think that effective communication\nis equal to the gift of gab.&nbsp; But it is\nnot!&nbsp; Professional communicators know\nthat communication involves listening as much as talking.<\/p>\n\n\n<p>Talking, in the sense of advocating what you think, feel,\nand want is only part of communication, and actually it is a minor part.&nbsp; The word communication itself speaks of a co-union\nand a communion of two or more persons who interchange ideas, listen to each\nother, and seek first to understand then to be understood.&nbsp; Real communication is a collaborative\nadventure of discovery and, at its best, is a dialogue.<\/p>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Myth #2: Communication is a one-way process.<\/h2>\n\n\n<p>Since real communication is not talking, to truly\ncommunicate, you have to engage in a two-way process that is more like a\ndance.&nbsp; It involves both sending and\nreceiving messages, receiving feedback and reflecting and adjusting, and\nlearning, and co-creating the experience.&nbsp;\nIn communication, we compare message sent and received to see if they\nmatch.&nbsp; Then we seek to match the other\nperson&#8217;s model of the world in order to understand the other person on his or\nher terms.&nbsp; In the reflecting process, we\ncheck on our own messages to check if we are being congruent and accurate. <\/p>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Myth #3: Communication is easy.<\/h2>\n\n\n<p>The only person who could possibly think that this is\neasy is the person who has not tried it.&nbsp;\nWhen you engage in the process of listening, entertaining another&#8217;s\nideas, questioning and exploring, re-presenting your own ideas- you will\nquickly find out that it is challenging and demands a lot of you.<\/p>\n\n\n<p>It demands attention, focus, being present, thinking,\netc.&nbsp; The dialogue process is actually a\nmuch more difficult challenge than most people imagine.&nbsp; The challenge is due to the many variables\ninvolved, and the ability to truly listen, consider, ask good questions, get\none&#8217;s ego-investments out of the way, to recognize one&#8217;s own thinking and\nemoting filters, and more.&nbsp; All of these\nskills require training and practice in order to become truly competent in\ncommunicating.<\/p>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Myth #4: Communicating is simple.<\/h2>\n\n\n<p>Rather than being simple, real communication is complex\nbecause it is multi-layered.&nbsp; It is\ncomplex also due to the many, many variables involved.<\/p>\n\n\n<p>With the messages sent and received, there is also the\ncreation of multiple contexts of those messages.&nbsp; Complicating things is the language used, the\nnon-verbals, the history of a relationship, and the multiple levels of thinking\nand emoting.&nbsp; There are also the multiple\nframes which govern the meanings and for those you have to go meta.&nbsp; Then there are the 60 possible meta-programs\nwhich filter how each person thinks and perceives.&nbsp; So getting on to another person&#8217;s channel is\nmost challenging. <\/p>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Myth #5: Communication is saying what you mean and\nmeaning what you say.<\/h2>\n\n\n<p>If only it was that easy and simple!&nbsp; But alas, &#8220;meaning&#8221; itself is an internal\nconstructing of understanding, of linking and associating things together, so\nthat actually &#8220;words do not mean&#8221; anything.&nbsp; It is people who use words to convey\nmeanings.&nbsp; We do the meaning-making and\nwe use words (properly and improperly, appropriately and inappropriately) so\nthat we often have to check with others about how they are using their words\nand share our own operational definitions. <\/p>\n\n\n<p>The basic NLP communication guideline is, &#8220;The meaning\nof your communication is the response you get.&#8221;&nbsp; Given that, you never know what you have\ncommunicated.&nbsp; With a video-recording,\nyou can know what you said, how you said it, the context, etc.&nbsp; But you never know for sure what the other\nperson heard.&nbsp; Not until you get a\nresponse can you begin to guess the message that the other person constructed\nfrom what you said and how you said it.&nbsp;\nIt&#8217;s the co-creation of meaning that makes communication a shared\nconstruct.<\/p>\n\n\n<p>There are other myths and many, many more communication guidelines in NLP and Neuro-Semantics- guidelines that can enrich leadership, management, parenting, love and much, much more.\u00a0 For more, contact The Coaching Centre<\/p>\n\n<script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\nvar gform;gform||(document.addEventListener(\"gform_main_scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.scriptsLoaded=!0}),document.addEventListener(\"gform\/theme\/scripts_loaded\",function(){gform.themeScriptsLoaded=!0}),window.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){gform.domLoaded=!0}),gform={domLoaded:!1,scriptsLoaded:!1,themeScriptsLoaded:!1,isFormEditor:()=>\"function\"==typeof InitializeEditor,callIfLoaded:function(o){return!(!gform.domLoaded||!gform.scriptsLoaded||!gform.themeScriptsLoaded&&!gform.isFormEditor()||(gform.isFormEditor()&&console.warn(\"The use of gform.initializeOnLoaded() is deprecated in the form editor context and will be removed in Gravity Forms 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